


fragments

by felixiar



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Homophobia, M/M, Oneshot, changlix being soft, retinitis pigmentosa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-07-11 09:00:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15969059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felixiar/pseuds/felixiar
Summary: Seo Changbin slips into Felix’s life softer than a summer breeze, reminding him that he's beautiful no matter what.





	fragments

Seo Changbin slips into Felix’s life softer than a summer breeze.

He couldn’t precisely recall just when Changbin had integrated himself into Felix’s every day routine. Suddenly lunchtimes were filled with a friend to eat with, study sessions no longer frustrating and lonely. Soft hands enveloped Felix’s own whenever Changbin had something exciting to tell him, and they were always so warm and comforting. There were times when Felix felt daring enough to share little pieces about himself; his dreams of being a dancer, quotes from his favourite poems, the strange Thai neighbour that lived next door. Felix didn’t talk much, but that was okay, because Changbin had enough things to fill the silence for the two of them. Unlike Felix, he didn’t hold back at all, chatting Felix’s ear off (despite outwardly appearing very serious and intimidating) about his wacky family and the snooty private school he had transferred from. He spoke of the year he had lived in America, and how amazingly diverse the culture had been in another country.

‘They’re just so nice,’ He had been telling Felix one day, his head cushioned by Felix’s thigh. It was something they had been doing lately, being touchier with each other. Felix was far from used to it, but the contact wasn’t unwelcome. ‘It was really refreshing how accepting they were of things. Like, I could have had three heads and they wouldn’t bat an eye.’

Felix let out a small chuckle, endeared by the exaggerated story. It wasn’t something that bothered him though, because he enjoyed studying the expressions flickering over Changbin’s face when he spoke passionately about a topic.

‘Must be a lovely place to live, huh,’ Felix mumbled. Changbin hummed in agreement, threading his fingers through Felix’s. His hands were warm like always, soft and caring and everything Felix needed. His sunglasses slipped down the bridge of his nose, and he hastily pushed them up, relaxing when Changbin didn’t notice. It was another thing Felix liked about Changbin, how he never questioned the shades always present on Felix’s face even when they were inside. He felt more relaxed because Changbin didn’t pry, only letting Felix share what he felt comfortable with.

‘If I could take you away with me I would. I think you deserve that and so much more.’

 

Trouble finds him on a Friday afternoon. Felix had just finished a gruelling hour long practice of a new routine he had choregraphed, and was pleasantly surprised at how quickly he had memorised the dance. There was sweat dripping down Felix’s neck and he gasped for breath, but be felt content. That is, until the door to the studio was wrenched open.

‘Ah, there the little queer is,’ Youngchul says, his voice reverberating around the room. Two of his friends were with him, and Felix can see their impish grins in the reflection of the mirror where he had frozen mid-stretch. The expressions on their faces showed that they were up to no good and Felix felt queasy. Without Changbin around there was nothing he could do to defend himself against three boys, all taller and beefier than himself.

Instead of turning around to face the trio Felix continues to squint at them through the mirror. He shuffles closer to the reflective surface, uncomfortable with how close they seemed to be. More sweat beaded along his forehead and under his sunglasses.

‘What do you want?’ He mumbles.

‘Just to have word, that’s all,’ Youngchul replies. A shiver ran down Felix’s back from the wicked tone of Youngchul’s voice. Felix skitters like a wild horse as he tries to reach for his backpack so that he can leave the room, but Ilsung snatches it up before he can.

‘Aw, come on Felixie,’ He croons, ‘What’s the matter?’

Felix’s voice quivers when he answers and it only seems to make Youngchul’s grin wider. ‘I have to go home, I have homework to do- ‘

‘I highly doubt that,’ Youngchul interrupts him. ‘Surely the school would give you an exception? They can’t pile all of that work on a retard, after all.’

A surge of anger rushed through Felix’s body. His fingers curled into fists, knuckles turning white from the pressure.

‘I’m not retarded,’ He said through gritted teeth.

The other boy, Sangmin, let out an unpleasant laugh.

‘Look, Chul, you made the little retard angry.’

So many emotions flooded through Felix’s body at once. He wanted to scream, to curl up on the floor and sob until his voice was destroyed. He wanted to throw his fists and let out all the anger that had been pent up inside of him for years. But the most prominent feeling was the one of helplessness, the one he hadn’t felt ever since Changbin had begun to hang out with him.

‘What’s the story behind these then, hmm?’ Youngchul asks, sliding a thumb over the lenses of Felix’s sunglasses, leaving a dirty print behind. ‘I’ve heard stories, you know.’

‘There are rumours that you’re going blind,’ Ilsung chimes in.

Felix yanks his head to the side, shaking off Youngchul’s grip on his glasses.

‘How come you’re blind, Felixie?’ Youngchul rephrases his earlier question, the second use of the nickname making him squirm. ‘Did you look at something ugly? Did you see yourself in the mirror?’

It’s embarrassing, but Felix can’t stop the tears that well up in his eyes. He tries to blink them away but one of them slips down his cheek, drawing Youngchul’s attention. The thumb that wipes the tear away is anything but comforting and elicits a frightened whimper from the back of his throat.

‘Stop.’

And then Felix does begin to cry, tears streaming down freely, because Changbin is standing right there with dark eyes and a scowl to match.

His friend pushes Youngchul away from him, standing in between the two. The tension in the room was thick enough to slice as Youngchul and Changbin stare at each other, neither of them looking like they want to back off.

‘I didn’t know you were a fag too, Changbin.’

Changbin’s eyes flashed dangerously.

‘So, what if I am? Is that supposed to make me feel bad about myself, the fact that I can’t accept who I am?’

‘You’re disgusting,’ Youngchul sneers. ‘That shit ain’t right.’

Felix was frozen in place as Changbin moved closer. He and Youngchul were now chest to chest.

‘No, what you’re doing isn’t right. Treating people as if they’re below you – that isn’t right. We’re all on the same page.’

Felix witnessed it all as if it was being played in slow motion, the fist swinging against Changbin’s face, the way the two boys fell to the ground hitting and kicking anywhere they could. And despite the situation, Felix’s lips quirk into a small smile, wobbly and unsure, but there.

 

‘Retinitis pigmentosa,’ He explains to Changbin later when they’re sitting outside of the principal’s office. ‘If I were to describe it simply, it’s basically tunnel vision.’     

Changbin makes a noise of understanding, his eyes boring into the side of Felix’s head.

‘But what are the sunglasses for?’

‘Ah,’ Felix begins. ‘My eyes are very sensitive to light. So, I always have to wear them during the daytime.’

They sit in silence for some time, Changbin humming a tune that sounds familiar. The sweet lilt of his voice soothed Felix, all the tension draining out of his shoulders.            

‘You know, I’ve never told anyone this before.’ Felix remarks nonchalantly. The sharp intake of breath Changbin takes doesn’t go unnoticed, and Felix’s lips curve up slightly.

‘Why me?’

Felix turns to look at Changbin for the first time since they were ushered to the office, concentrating on the handsome features of the boy sitting in front of him instead of the blackness that framed Changbin’s face.

‘Because I trust you,’ He replies simply.

Changbin smiles at him, brushing Felix’s cheek with his thumb. ‘I want you to know that no matter what, I think that you’re the most beautiful thing on this planet.’

It might be how Changbin says that he admires Felix so much for continuing to dance, even though he could have to give up anytime, or the fond look on his face when Felix babbles about the art universities he dreams to be accepted into. Even if his sight were to be lost tomorrow, or the day after, or sometime in the future, Felix thinks he would be a little more okay with it. Because he had Changbin, someone who would be there to pick up all the fragments of Felix when he falls.                   

 

**Author's Note:**

> henlo
> 
> hope u enjoy this cute lil oneshot of changlix. i'm working on a chaptered changlix fic that'll be angsty as heck atm. i'm not sure when it'll be up, but hopefully soon!!
> 
> comments and kudos appreciated!! please let me know what you thought of the oneshot (:
> 
> you can follow my twitter @felixiarr


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